Domestic Managers

Domestic managers fondly known as DMs are one key ingredient to surviving the working life of women with children. They are very core to the life of children from the time mothers resume work after maternity leave to the time when the child is considered capable of assisting himself. actually they are parenting partners whose involvement with children is remunerated. a DM may be a resident in their work place or a non resident who is able to manage to report very early to take over from the employer  the responsibility of running the home during the day.

There are many issues that surrounds the choice of the DM especially when they have to look after  child(ren). Personally, i always ensure that i have a bit of the persons historical background and document verification to ensure i am dealing the the person they say they are. An ID is verified on the Government authenticated platform, eg in Kenya we have E-citizen where you can verify the ID no and the face of the person if they are captured and real. there are many people walking around with fake identities.

The person also has to be recommended by a known person who knows them from their village and knows a family member. Someone who can assist you to locate a family member in case of anything.

Then there is personal presentation. just how does one carry themselves, how they talk, dress, general appearance. You don’t want to imagine your house being run by a person who doesn’t look the part. Its easy to distinguish disorganized persons,careless, defiant,a snobbish, easily admirable just at the point of meeting them. However, beware of first impression as some may not last beyond a day or two.

The first few days after accepting a person to work for you as DM is to induct them to your curriculum as well as learn who they are in detail. Its time to assess their capabilities in handling housework and dealing with children whether school going or toddlers. See how they relate with the children as they are the main business. You don’t want to leave them with a person who will scream at them, or make scaring faces thus instilling fear in them. if you have older children, you may get daily update on how things run while you are away. Be open to correct the DM whenever they make a mistake and follow up if they have improved. An allowance of one month is good enough to know if to keep her or severe the relationship.

So just how do you deal with repeated mistakes even after correcting the DM?

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to be continued>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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Online suicide scheme

Kenyan parents, it’s okay to say NO to your children; otherwise we are raising losers!

Last week, 13 year old school eloped from her parents’ home in Nairobi to go start her own life. To date, she’s still missing. She eloped because, her parents admonished her and withdrew smart phone she was using to do inappropriate chats on whatsaap with men on line.

Yesterday, 16 year old school boy committed suicide after playing an online game that dare and instruct participants to commit suicide. In both incidences, smart phones bought by parents as gifts to their children contributed to these catastrophes.

Sadly, these two incidences are not isolated. A lot of bad stuff is happening to children out there. Due to so much freedom given to kids by parents, kids are doing all sorts of inappropriate experiments with impunity. Most children have taken advantage of their parents unconditional love to indulge in their own pleasures.

Most kids don’t take school work seriously. They love TV, food, friends, couch, movies, play station, sex, drugs, money and gifts more than they love hard work, honesty and integrity. Instead of raising responsible citizens we are raising spoilt bruts whose future is already twisted.

I attribute MOST of these misfortunes to bad parenting. Why would a parent buy a smart phone for a13 year old girl or boy for that matter with unlimited and unrestricted internet access?

What’s even shocking is that most parents in our generation handle their “fragile” children with so much care as if they will drop and break like a glass. Most parents give their children everything and anything they ask for. Parents are so timid and intimidated to say NO. They even go to an extend of taking a loan to satisfy their children’s demands without teaching them how to work hard to attain what they need and want life.

Most children no longer are in sync with reality of life, which is, sometime you win and other time you lose. Sometime you lack and other time you get. Kids are living unrealistic life that will break them when they face realistic life. Don’t you know kids who get everything they want turn out to be egocentric, greedy and un-appreciative? Let’s teach kids how to work hard and earn whatever they want. Don’t get me wrong. It’s our responsibility to love, protect and provide for our children.

However, instead of providing holistic care which includes discipline, we are giving them stuff without monitoring their holistic growth. Parents work so hard to ruin their children with gifts. Yet they aren’t available to spent time with kids and supervise their behaviours. TV’s have become modern day parents. Perhaps to compensate their guilt for missing in children’s day to day life, parents are literally spoiling their children by giving in to children’s demands without questioning.

Ours are spoilt kids who no longer want to work. They can’t even cut grass around the house. Instead of encouraging them to cut grass, we hire someone to do it as they enjoy play station. Kids no longer want to clean the house and dishes. Instead, we employ “house girl” to clean after our grown children.

We don’t even encourage our kids to wash their own clothes. Instead, we hire someone to do it for them as they move around the village and town. Our kids can’t even put together a meal for themselves because they don’t know how to cook. Some even can’t wash their own underwear. What the hell is going on?? Don’t you know we are raising losers??? Come on daddy. Come on mommy. It’s okay to say NO to your kids. Have are rejuvenating Friday.

so relevance for my research. thank you TIME

(WASHINGTON) — President Barack Obama is commuting the prison sentences of 61 people serving time for drug-related offenses. White House counsel Neil Eggleston says more than a third of the inmates were serving life sentences. Obama’s commutation shortens their sentences. Most will be released July 28. All of the inmates are serving time for drug…

via Obama Shortens Sentences of 61 Drug Offenders — TIME

hi.

have been away on job asignment. but will try to be more flexible to increase my presence and update here.

 

Seeing the Light

i am a generalist social scientist,a social work, a sociologist, a counsellor,therapist, a reformist,law custodian,administrator,entreprenuer,…..the list is endless………..am still searching what i want to do in future and that future is here. when do people settle down in matter careers?

cycle of crime

I have been working for 4 years now with offenders rehabilitation department, and have noted that even when the offenders complete their supervision, some, if not most have ended up not quite achieving the goals of the treatment plan. Basically, my work revolves around the rehabilitation and empowerment of these offenders, and both plans go hand in hand. For these years I have worked, I have seem tremendous improvement for some client while the others slump back to the old offending self and partly because, the kind of empowerment was never enough. It is worthwhile to note that, some crimes are committed out of necessity, a mother who steals food does so to feed her children. Most of the offender know it in their heart that had there been an immediate way to solve their problem, they would gladly have grabbed it. It is thus unfortunate that, while we rehabilitate, it becomes automatic necessary to empower these offenders to gains means of survival. and this is where the problem is ever. the resources and protocols do not appeal. then again, most of these clients become too dependent that they will not move on until you feed them with these scarce resources which may take time to process. and down the line, the weak ones will be back in similar crimes that we deal with in the first place.

I therefore will dedicate more time in facilitating the empowerment plan and hopefully, we save a soul out in the cold.

On Herds, Husbands, and Riffing on Writing

Deborah J. Brasket

Cattle_herd public domainSerendipity, it’s sometimes called. Those happy coincidences that lead to some unexpected pleasure or insight. Or synchronicity. Those meaningful encounters that, touching tangentially upon something you’ve been musing upon, spark a new way of thinking about it. Then off you go, riffing on the topic the way jamming jazz musicians will do.

Here’s how it happened recently. I was grazing on Twitter and found a link to an essay that sounded interesting, taking me to new site called The Toast. The essay that drew me there did not pan out, but I found a link to something else that sparked my interest: “Some: Poetic Essay” by Julia Shipley. So I went there.

Now the essay starts out talking about horses and cows and the poets who write about them. Normally I’m not much interested in barnyard animals, but once when I was looking for a particular…

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Scarest moment of my life -and now anxiety attack

Anxiety attack
For the third day today, I feel not so well, anxious of something that I do not know. It all started on Sunday evening when I lost my baby girl aged 2 years and 10 months in the crowd. She had left the house, as she usually does to play with other kids downstairs and I knew she was well coz she would run out and come back safe. I never thought it could be a disaster. That Sunday at around 6.30PM I sent her sister to check on her and whoa, she couldn’t be found. I called for a search. She was nowhere and it was dark now. I didn’t know what to do but just continue searching. I didn’t know if I should start blaming, and who to blame, her sister or her dad? It was terrible. The thought of what could be happen to her, who took her, where is she going to sleep the night, even walking was becoming difficult, but I had to carry on. We had to retire back to the house and pray that she is safe wherever she is and that in the morning at or by 9 AM, we should be able to get her.
Such a long night sat I down; far from the bed coz I wasn’t going to sleep. i thought of what measures to use to find her, Which directions i should follow. I cried, i prayed, i begged God to protect her and send an Angel. i prayed that the baby be taken in by a good woman who will provide her food and a warm place to sleep, just thinking that i could get into bed when my baby was in the cold finished me. But i still kept the faith. i trusted that there was a God who listens and answers prayers and so, though with little faith, i continued praying. i called all my relatives to pray, there was no going to be peace with a missing baby. i still believed that God was going to do wonders and in my mind, my baby was safe. The Devil is a liar, there were instances, and many of them that i thought of the worst. The next day was 7/7, the most awaited day and it wasn’t going to be a good day and with a baby out, you never know. i thought of human sacrifices, i thought of kidnapping(but i have no grudge with anyone i know and i don’t have the cash worth ransom). i thought of baby selling. i thought of the last moment before the baby left the house, and it being that i last saw her in the toilet and she asked me for a tissue paper which i gave her. i thought of the happy moments with her that i would never see again. i felt pain, i hurt inside. i couldn’t cry much coz i had to be strong for the other kids. i hugged them and promised that the sister will be back in the morning. Then i posted on Facebook and begged people to help search and pray for us. the hours dragged, but i couldn’t sleep. i let the others retire to bed and i continued praying for the baby’s safety.
in the morning, i woke up early and went out to continue with the search. my team did so also. i started checking if someone with evil intentions did something bad to her and then left her at the gate(weird but true), i checked the sewers and tunnels, nothing. i asked and nothing, i walked aimlessly, stranded where to move and i walked back to the house to prepare to go out for bigger search. i had to take photos to all rescue centre and report to court on the same. On my way out, i decided to first check with the area chief’s office if there was any report. The desk officer asked me to call a woman who was seated outside and it was her- the God sent Angel. she described the baby she collected by the roadside when she realized that she was alone at night and could be hit by vehicle and stayed there at her roadside kiosk waiting for the mother(or family member ) to pick her, but none came along. she hosted her for the night and in the morning reported the matter. i confirmed the baby is mine and she was asked to go get her as i waited at the office. Another loooong time before she returned and i thought it must be another joke, she wasn’t coming. i started to think that she might have seen the Facebook posts and decided to prank me. i was restless and then my brother called to to say that she has found her. i was relieved. He just saw the lady as she brought the child to the chief’s office and now i held my baby
God gave her back to me. i will ever be grateful to the God of all Creation and you Mama Ruth. God bless her and all about her, the family , her businesses and all that she touches may it prosper. the search was now officially called off and the OB was closed. Mama Ruth is now my friend and will remain so ever. and i invited Ruth, her daughter to the house as she had to take back a change of clothes they had provided my baby.

Now 3 days later, am suffering the post traumatic effects of the ordeal i went through. I have this empty feeling i dont know what to call it but i know i will get through. i still imagine what would have happened but i remember that God was and will ever be in control. I have therefore decided to put these feeling down so that they get out of the system and my heart settles again. I will fear no evil, for the Lord I serve is Great and with time i will be well. the ordeal made be blackout on everything that i knew. i was prepared for an interview but on entering the interview room, i had nothing. I just told the interviewers that i had a crisis and should they feel that it was important, then, they can consider it when awarding and deduction marks. But it isnt a big deal as long as me and my family are safe, i have all the chances in this world for more interviews. I thank God for the job i have currently and will continues doing my duties right.